Psalm 121:8
Sorry I haven't really posted much on what I've experienced so far really, and I've left out a lot of the places we went. I will really try to cover them later, but at this moment I felt that I should just share about what's on my mind.
I guess it's been pretty evident that Satan has been trying to put bumps in our mission trip already, with the delayed flights, things getting stolen, bags not arriving, etc. But it's been much more evident these past few days. Every night I wake up and it's probably still because of jet lag, except these past few nights have been different. I usually wake up because I feel like I have to go to the bathroom, except two nights ago, something didn't feel right after I went back to bed. I was lying there and started thinking about all the children at the Mathare slum, and it was really hard to sleep after that. But then I felt something strange, like I knew it was lurking in our room. It was something really bad feeling, and I knew it wasn't a spirit from God so I just prayed until I fell asleep. The next morning I heard that Kaili had felt the same thing that night, and possibly even saw it, and Lucas had been seeing things and couldn't sleep. So I knew that Satan was trying to pry his way into our minds and hearts so that we would be distracted. It definitely bothered me, but not too much. I went to sleep again last night, except this time I woke up again. I didn't have to go to the bathroom that badly, but instantly I knew there was something lurking over or around me. Even though I couldn't see it, I knew it was there, kind of just waiting for me to be scared so that it could attack me. I kept praying and praying and trying to think of good things to help me fall asleep, but I must have been doing that for 2 hours because I couldn't close my eyes. I would see things I didn't want to see and I knew they weren't real, but it didn't make them any less frightening. I tried singing a song in my head, but I was still really uneasy until my body was just too tired to stay awake anymore and I fell asleep. Nobody else had had anything happen that night so I was wondering why I was just seeing and feeling these things and I'll admit that it was distracting throughout today. I thought I would just leave it, but then during the closing prayer during dinner just awful images were cascading through my mind. The kids I had spent time with and loved seeing were flashing in my mind except bad things kept happening to them, to their faces or I would just see these red eyes and teeth trying to eat me and I couldn't concentrate which really made me sad. I really like prayer because it is a time for me to be in clear communication with God, but not when you have to open your eyes to stop bad things from flooding your mind.
I was kind of really worried, but didn't want to worry anyone until Kaili said she saw things too, and then we both realized how uncomfortable we felt. We both knew even as we were going to our room that there was something there, so we went to talk to Trenton and Erika. After a while of discussing with them what had been happening and how we felt, they gave us advice and shared their own experiences with spiritual warfare and dealing with it. It really really helped calm my heart and I guess I just felt safer. I am very very thankful they are in my life so they can offer advice and their words of wisdom on the subject. We had the whole team come back together and we discussed more about demons and how when you are doing something good for God's kingdom, Satan will do anything to scare you or prevent you from giving your all. It helped a lot in that the team was there and we all prayed together, and through some of the prayer the images tried to come back, but just repeating the prayer or saying to myself over and over that Jesus is Lord made them halt. Right now I feel more affirmed and confident than I did earlier, and more prepared for when he tries to attack me or my friends/family. Even though this may seem like a bad thing, in a way I can see this as a good thing. Because the enemy is trying to get to us means that we are succeeding in something good, which is God. That God is working through us and transforming us which makes Satan unhappy. I know there will be more attempts to attack us, but this means we are fighting for Jesus and His love for us, and we cannot be touched because Jesus covers us in his sacrifice.
I don't mean to worry anyone by posting this, I just felt like this is what I am supposed to write about at the moment. Thank you for all your prayers and support everyone, it truly means a lot. Please continue to pray for us in this. God is good, and we already know He will win the fight, I just have to keep trusting Him.
Don't worry home girl, God is with yall! "If our God is with us, who could ever stop us!?" Even if you are confronted with evil, what can evil do when Jesus is right by our side. God always wants the best for us, so no matter what happens, just know that God is there helping you along. Keep your eyes on the Lord =)
ReplyDeleteAs always, I eagerly look forward to each of your blogs - the pictures you share and daily events. Today, the frightening nightly experience you and Kaili wrote about weigh heavily on our hearts (Mom and I), but I've always known, the purpose of this mission wasn't a simple field trip to Africa.
ReplyDeleteI'm so thankful for the leadership and wisdom the Yenokidas provide and knowing they're always there for you. The evil one makes it so easy to feel threatened or in doubt. I know it will just make you stronger.
Your words today were worth a thousand pictures. -G
Sydney, thank you for being strong and courageous and sharing your spiritual battles with us. I am so thankful for your amazing leaders and the rest of the team, praying and supporting you all. God is victorious and we can hold onto that truth. He is doing great things through you and the team.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Mom
We are praying for you! You are a warrior for God! Keep sharing these things with others and Erika and Trenton. Praise God they are with you.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
Aunty Marguerite
Sydney, this shows that you are doing something if there is something trying to keep you distracted. Focus on God and he'll help you. Pray and seek him and he will protect you.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+17&version=ESV
It's Psalm 17. It talks about how God love us in the shadow of his wings. That he is in control and that we can always trust in him.
Sydney and Kaili-
ReplyDeleteI pray that you continue to remember that God is always with you and that He will always win, and that God is using you as his hands and feet and opening your hearts/eyes to what he wants you to see. I have a few verses that I hope you can draw encouragement from:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."-Philippians 4:6-7
"I can do everything through him who gives me strength."-Philippians 4:13
"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."-2 Timothy 1:7
Just know that you have a lot of prayers supporting you back home :)
Lots of love,
Naomi L.
john and i were at a the spokane healing rooms last weekend for training, and there we were reminded of how the enemy wouldn't bother us unless we had something that was important to him. we are seated with Jesus, who is at the right hand of the Father. we have authority and power that the devil wants us to forget about. he attacks with lies. we stand firm on the word of God which is TRUTH and our sword of the Spirit. use your sword, speak truth from the Word of God. submit yourself to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you. see how strong your resistance is? it causes him to flee! that is your position. so keep yourself in submission to God and resist him. praise God! in Jesus' shalom,
ReplyDeletecelia sekijima